2.5 months gone

You first welcome the new year, a blink and it's the middle of third month.
Look back, you done almost nothing.
Why you did nothing?
Because you feel like you are missing and wandering.
You are very worry about your future.
Not because of the study or your career.
But because of your hobby and interest.
It's something that you want to kept secret.
It's something very meaningful to you.
It's something that the society hate.
It's something that people dislike.
It's something that you done since your early childhood.
It's something that keep you alive.
When something that so important to you, start to disappear.
What you feel?
What you do?
What you think?
What you fear?
Year in, year out, you see new source, then several months later, you lost it.
You can only suck it up and move on.
But what happen when all the source no longer available.
What happen when all the thing you want no longer available.
You have no more option.
Your mind is filled with negative thought.
You might even consider suicide just to end it all.
There is no point walking forward.
It's like a string hanging there, any moment it will snap.
You have no friends talking to you.
You have no buddy listening to you.
You have no pal playing with you.
You only have people arguing with you.
Make thing worst, people may pity you.
They think you pathetic.
They think you worthless.
They will use you.

I just want some love.
A warm love from someone. Anyone.
I want someone to tell me, you deserve to live.
You deserve to be happy.
You deserve to be yourself.